II Samuel 12: Nathan Chides David

So God sent the prophet Nathan to David. Nathan was all, Oh King, judge this case. There were two men, one rich in herds of sheep and goats and one poor man with only one little ewe to his name. Now the poor man loved his ewe and fed it with his own hand. But one day the rich man needed a sheep for a feast, so he took the poor man’s one little ewe.

David was all, What! Where’s this greedy asshole? I’ll punish him! And Nathan was all, The greedy asshole is you, sire. For didn’t you take Urich’s only ewe lamb, though rich in wives and concubines? Because you have done this, and angered God, It sends this message–Never will you land have peace or surcease from strife. God will take your wives and let your neighbors rape them.  Continue reading “II Samuel 12: Nathan Chides David”