God continued, Ok, if someone steals an ox or a sheep and kills or sells it, ten the thief has to repay five oxen for the ox or four sheep for the sheep.
If someone is killed during a robbery, that’s his own fault. If he is merely injured, he will need to pay his victims restitution. If he doesn’t have any money, then he is to be sold into slavery.
If someone lets his animals eat up another person’s vineyard or field, then he’ll have to pay restitution.
If someone causes a fire that burns up stored or standing grain, then he will have to make restitution.
If someone gives money or goods into the safekeeping of another, then it gets stolen, if the thief gets caught, he will have to pay double. If the thief is not caught, then the neighbor will have to go before the altar and swear his innocence and let God decide.
If someone gives livestock into the safekeeping of another, then the livestock becomes ill or dies without an obvious cause or gets eaten by wild animals, the neighbor will swear before the altar about his innocence.
If someone borrows something and it gets broken or dies, then he will make restitution. If it was hired, then the borrow bought what he broke.
If a man seduces (or rapes) an unengaged virgin, then he has to pay her bride price and owns her as a wife. If her father refuses to part with her, then he still has to pay the bride price.
If someone commits bestiality, execute him.
Oh, did I mention that you should summarily execute any sorceresses or witches? No, well, you should.
Along those same lines, again, I am jealous, so if anyone sacrifices anything to some other god, that person needs to be “devoted to destruction” immediately.
And don’t revile me. Or any of your rulers either. They rule because of me.
Hmmmmm….. what else, what else? Oh, don’t cheat or enslave anyone who ends up sojourning with you. Remember what it was like being sojourners that got enslaved.
Also, don’t mistreat widows and orphans. That’s a real dick move and I will rain wrath upon you and make your wives widows and orphans.
If you loan money to poor people, don’t charge them interest. They’re poor, for goddsake. And if you take necessities like blankets or clothes for collateral, give it back. They need that shit.
Mmmmm…..mmmmm….mmmeeee. Yes back to me. You will always offer the firstfruits of your harvest as a sacrifice to me, promptly and without complaint. And don’t forget that every firstborn belongs to me, too. Firstborn animals you will need to sacrifice to me on the 8th day of their lives. And don’t actually sacrifice your kids. Redeem those.
Also, I really don’t approve of humans eating roadkill or carrion. I don’t care how fresh it is. Throw that shit to the dogs.