Genesis 21

Finally, Sarah got pregnant. God and Abraham were soooo happy, but Sarah was all, everyone’s going to make fun of me for being old and pregnant. Her predication came true, because a few years later, she caught Hagar making fun of her at during Isaac’s birthday party. This was the final straw for Sarah, and she told Abraham that he needed to get Hagar out of the camp before she literally killed her. Abraham was at a loss, because he knew Sarah was crazy enough to do it, but that was his son,  he couldn’t just abandon him, and Hagar wasn’t really that bad. However, God came and told him to go ahead and cast Hagar out, because everything would be ok. Continue reading “Genesis 21”


Genesis 16

After all these promises from God, Sarah started feeling really bad about being barren, so she told Abraham that he could fuck her slave woman Hagar, and she, Sarah, would claim any resulting children as her own. However, when Hagar did get pregnant, Sarah just hated her for it and accused her of being proud and insolent. She started beating Hagar and accusing Abraham of liking Hagar better.

It got so bad that Hagar finally ran away, but then an angel came to her and told her to stiffen that upper lip, go back and submit to all the abuse Sarah could dish out, because if she did, then God would bless Ishmael. So Hagar stupidly returns to an abusive situation, and maybe Ishmael was blessed, but his descendants mostly show up in this story as adversaries to God’s favorites, the Hebrews  who descended from Isaac.