Daniel 2: Dream reader

Some time later, Nebuchadnezzar had a bad dream. So he called all of his enchanters, magicians, astrologers, and other psychics to tell him what it meant. They were all, Tell us the dream, o king, and we will interpret it for you.

But Nebuchadnezzar was all, No. You tell me the dream and tell me what it means.

The wise men were all, Surely the king is joking. Tell us the dream, sire, and we will tell its meaning.

Nebuchadnezzar was all, You guys are a bunch of fakes! If you’re really psychic, then you could tell me the dream and its meaning.

The wise men were all, With all due respect, no one can do what you’re asking.

This really pissed Nebuchadnezzar off, so he decreed that all magicians, wizards, astrologers, enchanters or interpreters of dreams should be executed immediately.

When the guards went to arrest, Daniel, Shadrack, Meshach, and Abendego, Daniel asked the arresting officer what had happened? The officer told Daniel what happened, so he got the officer to give him and the boys a few days to think on it. Then Daniel and his friends prayed hard all night until God told him what he needed to know. The next day, Daniel got the guard to take him before the king.

Nebuchadnezzar was all, What do you want?

Daniel was all, I prayed to my God, and It told me your dream and what it means. Do you want to hear?

Nebuchadnezzar was all, Duh!

Daniel answered, You dreamed of a statue. The statue had a head of gold, an upper body of silver, a lower body of bronze, calves of iron, and feet of iron and clay. And as you watched a rock came out of no where and hit the statue on its weak feet, causing it to collapse and crumble. Then where the statue stood, the rock turned into a mountain. This is what it means. You are the head of gold, o king, but your successors will be less and less worthy, until the kingdom is as weak as clay. Then it will be destroyed by a new kingdom that will grow so might it will last forever!

When Daniel was done speaking, Nebuchadnezzar fell on his face in amazement. He was all, If your God told you all this, It surely must be the true God. You are marvelous! Just marvelous! I have to have you near me always.

So he made Daniel a court official and lavished gifts upon him. Then Daniel appointed his friends, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego to administrative positions in the provinces.

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