Ezekiel 23: More misogyny

God really like to talk about Jerusalem and Samaria as though they were women. It said, Human, there were two sisters, Samaria and Jerusalem, and they had their sexual awakening in Egypt. There they frequently let the Egyptians get to third base–sometimes further. In fact, I heard Samaria liked pearl necklaces. They were incredibly slutty. But I married them anyway, thinking my love would be enough. It wasn’t. Samaria immediately started lusting after the Assyrians because they were so hot and looked good in their blue uniforms. So I delivered her over to a band of them and to let them strip her, rape, her murder her, and enslave her children.

I had hoped this would be enough of a warning for Jerusalem. But she was even worse. Not only did she sleep with the Assyrians, she saw some pictures of the Babylonians and liked their turbans so much, she started pursuing them! But after she fucked them, she didn’t want them anymore. She missed her Egyptian lovers because they were hung like donkeys and she missed big dick.

Because Jerusalem is such a whore, I’m going to turn her over to her spurned lovers, the Babylonians, so they can torture and mutilate her, humiliate and rape her. She will deserve it all because she’s a whore!

Human, you need to judge Samaria and Jerusalem. You need to tell everyone what diseased whores in trumped up finery they are!


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