Then God told me to carve Jerusalem on a brick, and then to carve an army besieging it. Then It commanded me to lie on my left side for 390 days with the brick on my side to symbolize Israel’s punishment, and then to roll over and lie on my right side for another 40 days to signify Jerusalem’s. It said, You will only drink a scant pint of water and eat an 8 ounce slice of multi-grain bread that you will cook on your own shit each day! But I was all, Please don’t degrade me so bad, God! So It relented and said I could cook my bread on cow shit instead.