Jeremiah 37: Another version of how Jeremiah got arrested

In this version, Zedekiah imprisoned Jeremiah thusly.

First, the king sent servants to ask Jeremiah to pray for the king and to auger well for the war. But of course Jeremiah was all, God says your allies the Egyptians are going to abandon you and the Babylonians will break through the walls and burn the city down!

However that’s not what got him arrested. See, when the Egyptians first showed up, the Babylonians temporarily withdrew from their siege. Jeremiah wanted to take this opportunity to go finalize buying that land in Benjamin. But on his way out of the city, one of the captain of the guards recognized him and was all, You’re going to desert to the Babylonians, you naysaying traitor! And arrested him.

After several days, Zedekiah ordered Jeremiah before him to plead his case. Jeremiah was all, What have I done that you have had me arrested? Haven’t I been right all along?….Um, well, sire, if you’re going to hold me prisoner, could you jail me somewhere besides your secretary Jonathan’s house? He’s starving me, and I will surely die there.

So Zedekiah remanded Jeremiah to the court of the guard and ordered that be given a loaf of bread a day. Which he was, until all the bread in Jerusalem ran out.

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