Jeremiah 14: Drought

This other time, there was this bad drought that had everybody worried and thirsty and hungry. So Jeremiah called out to God, Hey, uh, so we’re all starving and stuff. It’s so bad that the herds of wild donkeys are dying all over the place, and the people, well, they’ve been repenting and praying and sacrificing. So….you think you cold relent and send some rain?

God was all, Don’t bother me. Their prayers mean nothing. I don’t care if they all die.

Then Jeremiah was all, Uh…..if I go back and tell them that, they’ll probably kill me. They don’t like me anyway and there’s all these other prophets going around telling them that you hear their prayers and the drought will end soon.

God answered, Fuck those guys. I didn’t send them. They’re lying liars and they’re going to die with everyone else.

So Jeremiah started crying and wailing, Why, God? Everybody is so sorry and they promise to only believe in you and you always said you’d forgive us if we repented!


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