Isaiah 8: Isaiah’s one of those street preachers who always makes his kids participate

Like always. And even gave them prophetic names. Like this one kid of his was named Mahar-Shalal-Hash-Baz, which was Hebrew for “Quick to Plunder, swift to the spoil,” which also a saying that Isaiah had on one of the signs he carried around on his street corner. Bye the by, Quickie was the result of liaison Isaiah had with some prophetess chick.

In those days, Isaiah was all about prophesying that Assyria was going to come conquer the land as punishment for everyone cheating on God.

Isaiah also really hated that people tended to go to fortune tellers and necromancers (people who talked to the dead like Johnathan Edwards) to find out their futures rather than him. They’re all phonies, he’d bark.

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