Song of Songs 5: Love ’em and leave ’em

Solomon moaned, I’m coming in your garden! I’m eating your honeycomb!

People nearby were all, Have at her, Solomon!

But then the next day, Sandy woke up alone. She sobbed to her friends, I opened my garden for Solomon…let him walk there and plant his seed…but he left again! And this time when I went looking for him and asked the cops if they had seen him, they laughed at me and hit me and called me a whore! Even if I am a whore, I’m at least the king’s whore! And I need him soooo bad. If any of you see him, will you tell him that? That I need him. I want him. I can’t live without him!

Her friends were all, Why? What makes him so special?

Sandy answered, He is sooo fine. So fine. He has this curly blond hair and I just drown in his eyes. His lips are strong and sweet. And God is he ripped. Wash my clothes on those abs. And well, she giggled, he is hung like those fabled cedar trees of Lebanon.

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