This girl, let’s call her Sandy, was chatting with her BFFs and decided to dish on this hot guy she was crushing on. They were all, Tell me more, tell me more. Like, does he have a horse?
So she answered, his kisses are so sweet, so passionate, so hot–and he’s so fine that all the girls want him. I can’t believe he likes me! I mean, my skin’s so brown from working outside all the time. My brothers are always telling me just how ugly I am, but my guy doesn’t care at all.
Her friends were all, Come off it, Sandy. You know you’re beautiful. Your brothers are just jerks.
Sandy was all, well, he said that I was as pretty as a full-blooded mare fit for a king! And he promised to give me jewelry to set off my beauty–after we were laying on the green grass after making love. His head was laying on my breasts and he admired my eyes and my full set of teeth.