Gossip feeds the fires of anger.
Flattering and lying may work for awhile, but the truth will out.
An undeserved curse is wasted breath.
Lazy people think they’re smart.
Honoring a fool is like snow in July.
If you hire an idiot, you deserve what you pay for.
If you debate with an idiot, you become one.
Beast idiots like you would a dray animal.
Using “I was only joking” as an excuse to say things that are wrong makes you as bad as a spree killer.
The next few chapters are Solomon’s proverbs according to King Hezekiah:
Bosses seek God’s truth and they can’t be understood by underlings.
Firing bad workers is like removing impurities from silver.
If you show off in front of the boss, he’ll probably humiliate you in front of his assistants.
Being disciplined by the boss is better than a reward.
A faithful employee is like lemonade on a summer’s day.
Persuade the boss with nice words
Don’t narc people out before you know their story.
No one likes a liar, a fair-weather friend, or, during hard times, the perpetually cheerful.
Don’t over eat or over stay your welcome.
Being nice to your enemies is a better revenge than being harsh.
No self-control lets anyone who wants control you.
It’s just sad when dumb person tries too hard.
20. Don’t hang out with immoral, violent people.
21. Be smart, and you will be a homeowner.
22. Ask advice from smart people.
23. Don’t elect idiots.
24. People don’t like mockers or slanderers.
25. Be courageous and help people even without promise of a reward.
26. Honey and wisdom are both good for you.
27. Don’t try to bring down good people. It won’t work in the long run.
28. Don’t be a bad winner.
29. Don’t worry.
30. Don’t rebel, but fear God, the ruler, and the boss.
Also, judge impartially, be honest, earn some money before investing in a house, don’t narc, work hard, and don’t slack off.
7. Don’t be a glutton.
8. Don’t pursue money at the cost of your health and well-being.
9. Don’t hang out with stingy people.
10. Avoid stupid people.
11. Seriously, don’t cheat your neighbors.
13. Beat your children. It’s good for them.
14. Parents prefer smart children.
15. Don’t envy wicked people.
16. Don’t get drunk or over-eat.
17. Obey your parents and listen to their advice.
18. Avoid Floozy–she’ll cheat on you, take your money, and give you an STI.
19. Getting drunk might be fun, but the hangover sucks, and the problems you were running from will still be there.
Floozy is like quicksand to men.
Decent’s good reputation is better than Doofus’s wealth.
Decent is prudent and humble; Doofus is foolhardy because he is rich.
The boss prefers Decent.
Doofus lords it over the poor.
Doofus is a coward.
Instilling good values in children sets them up for life. Especially if you beat them too.
Now for Solomon’s 30 point review of his wisdom, points 1-6
- Be smart and honest.
- Don’t exploit the poor.
- Avoid angry blowhards.
- Don’t co-sign loans for people.
- Don’t cheat your neighbors.
- Skillful people succeed.
Decent does what’s right; Doofus does wrong but offers sacrifices. God judges both.
Decent works hard and slowly rises to the top; Doofus hurries and lies–he might see quick profits, but all will end in ruin.
Because Doofus ignores the poor, no one will help him when he needs it.
The boss is God’s messenger.
Secret santas soothes strife; bribes cause resentment.
Pride leads to sin.
“Whoever loves wine and olive oil will never be rich.” (actual quote)
It’s better to be homeless than live with shrewish Floozy.
Doofus sleeps in, loses his job, and goes hungry.
Booze causes Doofus to act the fool and get into fights; Decent is sober and peaceful.
When Doofus puts up security for someone, Decent is allowed to keep it.
Doofus seeks revenge; Decent waits for God.
Decent is good at reading people.
An angry boss is a scary boss.
A good beating purifies the soul.
Endless love is just a song.
Judge children by their actions and beat them accordingly.
When Doofus commits perjury, he goes to jail.
Doofus’s wealth is garish.
Stupid people make mistakes.
It’s better to be poor than stupid.
Rich people have friends, but poor people are on their own.
A good wife is better than a large inheritance.
Doofus has fair weather friends; Decent’s friends are all BFFs.
Doofus slacks off and screws over his coworkers.
Doofus is selfish and quarrelsome and never listens. He loves to spout his own opinions no matter how illogical or shameful they are.
People frequently reproach Doofus and want to beat him up.
Doofus relies on his wealth to protect him.
Words have consequences.
Rock, paper, scissors is a good way to make decisions.
Faithful is a like a gift from God for her husband.
Grandchildren bring joy and honor, but a foolish child is a shame.
Money can’t buy wisdom.
Doofus thinks bribes make people like him.
Doofus servants cheat him, but Decent’s obey.
Doofus is worse than a she-bear looking for her missing cubs.