Psalm 23: If David were a redneck

The Lord is my shotgun.

I shall not want.

It allows me to lie down

wherever I want.

It ensures my water is pure.

It casts beneath it

the valley of the shadow of death.

It is my rod, my staff.

It comforts me.

With It I can prepare a table,

and not invite my enemies.

I rub Its stalk in oil.

My beer overflows.

Surely awesomeness will follow me

all the days of my life.

Or at least through Judge Judy.

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