Job 1: God and Satan make a bet

Once upon a time, there was a wealthy man named Job who was a devout follower of God.

Now one day, in another dimension or sphere or something, all the angels went to report to God. One of the angels was Satan, and it reported that it had been traveling around Earth. God was all, What do you think about the human Job? He seems to worship me better than anyone else!

Satan was all, Yeah that guy. He only worships you like that because he’s prosperous. If he lost everything, I bet he’ll curse you, just like the rest of them.

God was all, I’ll take that bet! Do what you want to him–just don’t kill him, because then the game would be up!

A few days later, messengers brought word to Job that most of his livestock were either killed or wrangled–the sheep had actually been struck by lightning and barbecued–and all of his servants were killed. As he was trying to process this news word came that a tornado hit the house where his seven sons and three daughters had been eating and they were all dead.

Job ripped all of his clothes off, and his head shaved, and began praying.

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One thought on “Job 1: God and Satan make a bet

  1. […] Afterwards, Jesus decided to wander around the desert for 40 days and 40 nights, apparently having no job, family, or other responsibilities. And since he had no job, he had no money, so he had no food, but he wasn’t inured enough to homelessness to eat bugs like John. Hunger and isolation does funny things, and by the end of those 6 weeks, he was having conversations with Satan, his dad’s old tempter-in-chief and gambling buddy. […]

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