Job 35

Elihu turned back to Job. Do you seriously think you’re innocent? Like you’re the only one oppressed….But you are the only one demanding God answer for Itself! You are arrogance incarnate!


(I’m out of town for a few days, so we’ll have to finish up next week!)

Job 34

The Elihu turned to Job’s friends and was all–And what should we make of Job’s protestations of innocence? First of all, whatever God does is Right and Just. Human concerns and desires are just the buzzing of flies. Thus, Job’s martyr complex makes him a wicked sinner.

Job 33: Elihu continues

Elihu shook his finger at Job and was all, Look Job, I’m no better or worse than you and this is how you sound to me–you claim you’re innocent and God trampels you unjustly and doesn’t answer your prayers. Look. God only speaks to humans in two ways: through prophetic nightmares and bodily pain and infirmity….If the human is lucky, maybe an angel might convince God to spare him. So maybe you should think about what God is trying to tell you.

Job 32: Elihu Buttinski interjects

This young dude named Elihu had been eavesdropping the whole time, and the more he heard the angrier he became. When Job stopped talking, he walked up to the quartet and was all, Excuse me, I know I’m a lot younger than you all and therefore I’m supposed to be respectful and listen to you and all that, but after listening to you, I can’t hold my tongue. Y’all are stupid.

Job 31: Job finally wraps it up

I thought God only punished the wicked! Yet God knows that I am not. Have I molested young girls or cheated on my wife? Have I told lies or cheated any one? I’ve never even cheated my slaves! I’ve never withheld charity, but always donated abundantly. I never worshiped my wealth. I never rejoiced at the failure or misery of my rivals. I swear, if I have done any of these things, let my wife become the mistress of another! Let my arms be dislocated! Let my lands become barren! Hear me oh God! To you I will give an accounting!

Job 28

Humans are able to mine and farm, Job pondered, and do things that no other animal can do…Humans alter the environment to their own choosing…. But is that wisdom? Where does wisdom lie? In the ground? In the ocean’s depths? How much does wisdom cost? All the gold and sapphires men rip from the ground cannot buy it. Whence does wisdom come? No one knows but God. God made everything. Fearing God is humanity’s only wisdom.