II Kings 1

King Ahaziah fell out of an upper-story window of his house and was badly injured, so he sent some servants to go inquire about his chance of recovery at the shrine of Baal-zebub in Ekron. However, the servants returned in just a couple hours and were all, So we were on our way to Ekron, but this dude stopped us and told us to come back and tell you that the Hebrew God is pissed that you were going to inquire of Baal-zebub instead of It, so you will die of your injuries.

Ahaziah was all, What did this guy look like? The servants answered that he was wearing this weird ratty hair cloak held together with a leather belt. Ahaziah was all, Figures it’s Elijah. He was always taunting and bothering my father. So he sent a captain with fifty soldiers to capture Elijah.

The captain found Elijah sitting on a hill, and was all, Surrender in the name of the King! But Elijah was all, If I have the ear of God, let lightning consume these men! Lightning flashed and all 51 lay dead.

Ahaziah sent another captain and his men to arrest Elijah, and the same thing happened. Then he sent a third group. This captain, however, fell on his face before Elijah and begged for his life. So Elijah was all, Ok, I’ll go with you. And he went before Ahaziah and repeated the message that he was going to die.

When Ahaziah died, his brother Jehoram inherited the throne.

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