II Samuel 2: David Crowned King of Judah

Then God told David to take the band and go to Hebron, where the men of Judah came and crowned him King of Judah. Then he sent a message to Jabesh-gilead thanking and blessing them for burying Saul.

Meanwhile in Israel, Abner took a fourth, previously unmentioned, son of Saul, Ish-bosheth, to Mahanaim and had him crowned King of Israel.

Conflict was inevitable and before too long, Abner and a band of his men and David’s man Joab and some guys ended up in Gibeon at the same time. Joab and Abner of course began competing and had some of their guys spar, but when they all killed each other, a battle ensued. Joab’s men were getting the best of Abner’s, so he and the survivors fled. But Joab’s brother Asahel chased Abner. Abner was all, Leave me alone, bro! I don’t want to have to kill you! How could I then face Joab?  But Asahel kept up the chase, so Abner pierced him with his spear.

So Joab and his other brother Abishai chased Abner all the way to the Hill of Ammah, where reinforcements from Benjamin came to their aid. Then Abner was all, Joab! Killing begets killing! Where will it all end? Joab was all, You’re right! and went home. Then Abner marched back to Mahanaim and Joab to Hebron.

Joab lost 20 men that day, but Abner lost 360.

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