Numbers 17

God was all, I’m really sick of this constant mutiny. Tell every tribe to have their chief’s name carved into a staff–Aaron’s should be on the Levites–and then bring all the staffs to the Tabernacle. The staff that blossoms is the rightful supreme leader of the Hebrews.

So everyone did and, behold, Aaron’s staff bloomed. Then his staff was put in the Tabernacle as a reminder to everyone that God chose him to the be supreme leader.

No one was really happy, but they were all, what the fuck are we supposed to do? God keeps killing people! Man, I’m afraid for my  life!

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