Leviticus 6

And God kept on, Um, well, some examples of breaches of faith that require a guilt offering are, let’s see, cheating someone out of a deposit or collateral; robbing or otherwise cheating or abusing one’s neighbor; finding something and then lying about it and keeping it; or bearing false witness or swearing falsely.

Also, Moses, you need to be certain to explain to the priests their parts in all these rituals. I want the pageant to run smoothly. Burnt offerings must burn all night, and then in the morning, the priest will wear clean linen and underwear to sweep the ashes off the altar. Then he will change his clothes and underwear before he takes the ashes out of camp to the dump. You don’t need to know why, dude. Just tell them.

Also the altar fire should never be permitted to go out!

Ok, so about grain offerings, and how most of those go to the priests’ families because I don’t really like grain? Yeah, so that grain needs to be eaten in the sanctuary courtyard, and only certain members of the priests’ families are allowed to eat it. Try to keep it away from the women especially. I hate the way they chew.

Ummmm…, how ’bout this? On the day a priest is anointed, the priest will need to offer me a griddle cake in the morning and evening, just for something different.

Oh, I don’t think I mentioned this before, when I was explaining that sin offerings need to be burned outside of camp. Yeah, well, not all of them need to be. The priest who does the sacrifice can keep part of it, as long as he eats it in the courtyard.

Also, all clothes and dishes used in sacrifices need to be washed (or disposed of) in a holy place.

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