Leviticus 1: Or, God Decides All the Rules in Exodus Weren’t Enough

So at some point a little later, while the Hebrews were still camped at Sinai,  God called Moses back up the mountain and was all, Hey, I really think I need to add to those rules I gave you. For instance, sacrifices. I’ve been getting some jacked up sacrifices, all deformed and sick and shit, and I want to make a rule that all sacrifices to me need to be in perfect health and condition. No deformities, birth defects, or any other problems. A God needs to eat well, yo.

Also for burnt sacrifices, all the blood needs to be drained from all animals and thrown against the altar before you butcher it and burn my parts. I’ll take bulls, rams or billies.  If it has to be birds, though, only male turtledoves or pigeons. Nothing else.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s