Exodus 24

Then God was all, ok, that’s enough for now, Moses. Go get Aaron, Nadeb, Abihu and seventy of the elders and bring them up here. No one else, mind you! And those others will have to stay back and all, but I really want some witnesses for this next part of our conversation.

So Moses went back down to the camp and told everyone what God had said, and everyone was all, yeah! That sounds doable! Then Moses spent the night writing everything down. Early next morning, Moses built an altar and twelve pillars (one for each of Jacob’s sons) near the mountain and then sacrificed some oxen. Half the blood was thrown on the altar and half was kept in basins. Then Moses read everyone all the rules again, and the people again agreed to follow them, and Moses threw the rest of the blood on the people.

Next, Moses gathered the entourage God commanded. At the top of the mountain, they saw God surrounded by sparkling blue sapphires. They had a picnic and It watched them while they ate.

After lunch, Moses was all, Aaron and Hur are in charge while I’m gone. So Moses had Joshua help him climb higher up the mountain to finish getting the laws from God. God was all, hey there, Moses. Good to see you again! I saw you writing down everything on parchment last night, so I wrote this next bunch on stone for you. Parchment is so impermanent. I’ll give the slabs to you when we’re done.

Moses stayed up on the mountain a week or maybe forty days. The entire time he was up there the mountain was covered in smoke and fire.

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