Exodus 2: Moses, the Early Years

And lo, a Levite man got his Levite wife pregnant, and she bore a little Levite boy. The mother hid the  baby for three months, but when it became clear that the baby’s sex was suspected, she tucked the baby in a waterproof basket and hid it in the reeds near the spot where Pharaoh’s daughter liked to bathe in the Nile, and told her daughter, Miriam, to keep an eye on it.

Of course Pharaoh’s daughter found the basket with the baby, and quickly figured out what was what. Now Pharaoh’s daughter didn’t quite agree with her father’s genocidal policy. When it became apparent she had no intention of committing infanticide, Miriam popped out of the bushes and asked her if she needed a wet nurse. Pharaoh’s daughter decided she would help this desperate Hebrew family and told Miriam yes, likely in full cognizance that Miriam was related to the baby and that the wet nurse would be its mother. So Moses’s mother got to nurse him for the first few years of his life, before she had to hand him over to Pharaoh’s daughter to finish raising.

A long time later, when Moses was a young man, he saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew slave. Moses looked this way and that, and seeing no one, killed the Egyptian and buried him in a shallow grave in the sand. Next day he saw two other Hebrews fighting, and he tried to stop them, but one of them taunted him with, what, are you going to kill me too? Moses freaked out that everyone knew he had killed someone and fled to Midian to avoid Pharaoh’s wrath, since Pharaoh hated him. Sure enough, when Pharaoh found out, he put a death warrant out on Moses.

In Midian, Moses was sitting by a well, when seven shepherdesses came to water their flocks. But as soon as the girls had drawn the water, some shepherds started bullying them and butted in line to take their water. This pissed Moses off, so he stood up for the girls and made the bullies back down.

When the girls got home earlier than usual (because apparently the shepherds were dicks on the regular), their father Reuel, the priest of Midian, was all what gives, girls? Why so early? So they told their dad about the nice Egyptian man who helped them out. Their dad was all, and you left him out by the well to spend the night in the open? Go get him! Let me reward this savior of my daughters with a hearty dinner!

Moses ended up moving in, and eventually he married Zipporah, one of the daughters.

Eventually Pharaoh died. Long live Pharaoh! But the degradation of the Hebrews continued under the new regime. At this point, God finally remembered It had made a bunch of promises to the Hebrews, and that they were all miserable, so It decided to intervene.

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