Genesis 33

The next day, Esau arrived, and Jacob bowed down before him, prepared to kiss some major ass. Bur Esau raised him up and gave him a bear hug, and was like bro! OMG, it’s been like forever! How have you been? Where are your wives? I heard one of them was really hot. Nice. Where’s your kids? Uncle Esau wants to give them kisses! What’s with all the stuff you sent me? I don’t need all that, man. I’m just glad to see you.

But Jacob was all, no,  no, I’ve done really well, you keep it, bro. It’s a gift. So Esau did. Then Esau was all, come home with me bro. Meet the new wives and the old one you didn’t like. Meet the kids! I’ll make you a feast. Jacob was all, sure, sure, but we can’t travel as fast as you. You go on ahead and I’ll catch up later. But after Esau got a good head start, Jacob went a different way and set up permanent camp in a different town.


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