Genesis 26

At some point, there was famine in the land, because living by primitive agriculture in desert is  precarious. Isaac heard that there was plenty and Egypt and was going to move the family there, but God was all, go to Gerar instead.

When they got to Gerar, Isaac decided to try out Abraham’s pimping tricks and told King Abimelech that Rebekah was his sister (even though she was really only his second cousin). But one day King Abimelech looked out of his window and saw Rebekah and Isaac having sexy time (i.e. “laughing”), so he confronted Isaac about lying about who Rebekah was. Isaac was all, but I thought if I told you the truth, you’d kill me for my hot wife, and Abimelech is all, what kind of people do you take us for?

Anyway, Isaac prospered in Gerar because the famine ended soon after he arrived there. Eventually he got so rich that King Abimelech was all, you got to go, son. So Isaac moved back to Beersheba, digging a bunch of wells on the way.

Eventually Abimelech tracked down Isaac and was all, I’m sorry bro, can’t we be friends again? And Isaac was, of course, man!

Then Esau married a Hittite woman named Judith and Isaac and Rebekah hated her.

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