The upstairs rooms, of course, will be smaller and less ornate.
The priests will have to eat their food in the north and south rooms on the first floor. And they are not to wear their Temple garments outside of the Temple! Not even in the outer court!
The entrance to the inner Temple should be huge! Like 9 feet high and 7 feet wide. Those double doors will open onto the nave that will lead to the center–the holiest of holies–my own special room!
I want the inner court and Temple wood paneled from floor to ceiling! And the paneling should be carved. The pattern will be a palm tree flanked by two cherubim–because those things are freaky as hell!
The vestibule connecting the inner Temple court to the inner Temple should be covered by a wood awning, and I want palm trees growing everywhere. When you think there are too many palm trees, plant some more!
This building should be three stories high and make sure to leave room for outbuildings.
In the 29th year of exile, God came to me really excited and was all, When the exile ends, I’ll get to have my Temple rebuilt! My new digs will be so awesome. I’m totally gonna pimp my Temple! Let’s go to Jerusalem, so I can show you what I want! As you can see, the new Temple will be huge! And full of windows. At least in the outer court. Helps open the space up. And I want palm trees growing near every gate. Now for the inner court. I needs to be spacious too, and raised above the ground so humans will have to ascend to get to me. Near the main entrance should be the kitchens and altars for the sacrifices. I like my meat clean and very well done. The priests will have two rooms to share. The Temple priests will get the north room and the altar priests will get the south. Make them roomy–about 9 feet by 9 feet. But leave plenty of room for my vestibule!
King Gog, God says that your mighty army will be crushed! The carrion birds and scavengers will grow fat off your men! It will take 7 months to bury all the dead! Inhabitants of nearby towns will use your weapons and shields as firewood for 7 years!
God told me to declare that King Gog of Magog would be destroyed, despite his massive army.
God took me to a valley filled with bones–dry bones scattered about after some great battle–and asked, Human, do you think these bones can live again?
God said, Tell them to live!
So I said, Bones! God commands you to stand up and live! And lo, the bones came together to form skeletons and stood and then flesh grew upon them. But they didn’t breathe.
God said, tell them to breathe!
So I said, God says breathe! And they did.
God said, I will raise Israel back up like I did these skeletons. In that day, all the tribes will unite as one and will be ruled by a new David whom I shall anoint!
God told me to prophecy to the mountains and valleys of Israel as though they were alive and could understand, so I said, Oh, mountains and valleys and plains and deserts where the children of Abraham once prospered! All the nations now scorn you, but God will make sure you are fruitful! One day, after God has punished the Jews enough, It will send them back and make Its holy nation great again!
God told me to tell everyone that It was going to destroy Mount Seir because it was an enemy of Judah.
When the fugitive came with news of Jerusalem’s fall in the twelfth year of exile, God unsealed my lips. I reminded everyone, God made me Israel’s watchman! It is my duty to point out all your sins and crimes! If I do not, I will burn in Sheol with you! Jerusalem has fallen. Those left in Judah, those hillbillies and halfwits out in the mountains and deserts think this is a grand opportunity for them, that all the spoils left in Jerusalem will be theirs! But this is not their time! They too will fall under sword and famine! They too will die!
God also told me to dedicate this song to Pharaoh and the Egyptians: